Latest Funny SMS

लडकियों के जीरो फिगर के क्रेज को ध्यान में रखते हुए ,

शायद अब "सदा 'सुखी' रहो" वाले आशीर्वाद को बदलकर "सदा 'सूखी' रहो" कर देना चाहिए।

Airport Security Check]

"Do you have any guns/knives ?"

"No"

"Any sharp object ?"

"No"

"Any explosive device ?"

"No"

"Love Letters ?"

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आज का ज्ञान

जरूरत आविष्कार को जन्म देती है...और.....गर्लफ्रैंड जरूरतों को जन्म देती है!

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महाराष्ट्र में बार डांसर को मात्र छूने पर 50 हजार का जुर्माना और 6 महीनो की जेल होगी

ऐसा लगता है अब वहां लोग सिर्फ कथा सुनने जायेंगे

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एक चिड़ा था।

एक चिड़ी थी।

दोनों की शादी हो गई।

दोनों चिड़चिड़े हो गए।

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हमारे हाइवे के जितनी साइज़ one way की होती है उतनी साइज़ यहाँ राजस्थान में डबल वे मिलाकर भी नहीं होती ,

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सुनो ,

ये सुनो सुनो करके कितना सुनाओगे..कब तक सुनाओगे.. हम तो सुनते सुनते थक गए..अब बस भी करो।

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Gmail, Yahoo, iMessage, Postal order, FedEx, texts, courier services...

But hommie hijacked a plane to deliver a love letter.

#EgyptAir

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[Kohli stands for his ex]

Girls: Awwww Love

[I do the same]

Girls: Chutiye abhi tak usi ke piche pada h

Ex:Ab msg mt krna FIR kar dungi

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मास्टरजी: महान बही है जो हर वक्त दूसरों के मदद करे!

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पप्पू: पर सर, परीक्षा के वक्त ना आप खुद महान होतें है, ना हमें होने देते है

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पत्नी- सुनो आज रात को दिल्ली वाली बुआजी की बेटी के बच्चे का बर्थ डे,वहां चलना है

मैं-आज रात?

प- हां

मैं-टेबल पर तलाक के कागज़ रखे हैं

देश-विदेश की बड़ी-बड़ी समस्याओं के बीच मेरी छोटी सी समस्या है.

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मुझे होली पे किसी कॉलोनी की किसी लड़की ने रंग क्यों नहीं लगाया

आज का प्रवचन

जब तुम रात को सच्चे दिल से सोने की कोशिश करो

तो

Wi-Fi/3G की तेज स्पीड

तुम्हें जगाने की #साजिश करती है..

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वो पड़ोसन भी आतंकवादी से कम नहीं होती,,

जो नई साड़ी ख़रीद कर सीधे आप की बीबी को दिखाने आती है,,,,

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अगले जनम मोहे प्रिया ही कीजो"

- yours sincerely

एंजेल प्रिया

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सबसे Fast पुनर्जन्म… . . . .

Wife: -कहाँ मर गए ???

Husband:- आया

Source : Jokes

English Short Jokes

Boss: Where were you born?

Sardar: India ..

Boss: which part?

Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb

explodes while fixing.

Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

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Sardar: What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.

Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.

Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

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At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

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Sardar: U cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.

Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

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NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....

Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.

Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Sardar: An old king's skeleton.

Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?

Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

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Source : Jokes      

Funny Stupid Jokes Guaranteed To make You Laugh And Groan

The new-age way to get your daily dose of desi humour. Anytime, anywhere. With our easy-to-use app, you can get access to funny Jokes shared by desi  joke lovers across the world.  

Daily Jokes

Politically Correct Descriptions Of Women

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

9. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

10. She is not a SLUT - she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

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Football Player Joke

Coach Bowden was talking to the newest player on the team. "It's fantastic the way you strike the line, dodge, tackle and weave through your opponents."

Luke was a shy fellow, but blurted out, "I suppose it all comes from early training, sir. You see, my mom used to take me shopping with her on sale days."

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Limerick

There once was a fellow named Trete,

Who from birth was inclined to be neat.

He became extra fussy

When he thought his pants mussy,

And would throw them away in the street.

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Mae West Quote

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."

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Blonde Swimming Joke

A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.

The brunette came in first and the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.

After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."

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Lawyer Joke

A very very rich gentleman dies,leaving his fortune to his only living friends, a Doctor, a CEO, and a Lawyer. But being the eccentric he was, his will stipulated that each one must place their third of the money in his coffin before he is put in his final resting place.

The funeral comes and goes. Over a year later the three friends are talking over lunch and the topic of the old man and his strange ways comes into the conversation.

The Doctor finally says "I have to be honest, I didn't place ALL of the money into his coffin, I kept five million".

Then the CEO states "Well, I have to admit that I too kept some of the cash. Ten million to be exact".

The Lawyer glares at the two and says "I am ASHAMED of you two, I wrote a check for the FULL amount!"

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Source :  Jokes