Pappu,
while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother
tongue.?
Santa:
Very long!
*****
Teacher:
Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu:
Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.
*****
Banta:
Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa:
Birla cement.
Banta:
Kyun?
Santa:
Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
*****
Preeto:
Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta:
Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1
bottle,
aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
*****
Banta
ek sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay
batao.
Sadhu:
Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
*****
Frog:
Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa:
Hai.
Frog:
Nahin hai.
Santa:
Hai.
Frog:
Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa:
Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
*****
Santa
was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The
judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa:
I think I'll take the money.
*****
Santa:
I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta:
Me too, after u leave.
*****
A
lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa
replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
*****
Q:
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A:
He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
*****
Santa
standing on platform no. 1 suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta:
Santa u'll die.
Santa:
U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform no. 1?
*****
Santa
& Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. One day a
pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa:
Oye, this was a missed call
*****
Banta:
Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa:
Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
*****
Santa:
I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta:
What's he studying?"
Santa:
He's not studying, they are studying him!
*****
Q:
A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A:
Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
*****
Q:
Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A:
Because it was an entrance exam.
*****
What's
Ford?
Santa:
Gaadi.
What's
Oxford?
Santa:
So simple, Bail Gaadi
*****
Banta
sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa
got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
*****
Santa:
My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta:
He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa:
I didn't say he got out.
*****
Santa
found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first
-
the chicken or the egg?
O
yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
*****
Santa
(reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I
breathe,
a man dies?"
Banta:
"Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
*****
