Funny Stupid Jokes Guaranteed To make You Laugh And Groan

The new-age way to get your daily dose of desi humour. Anytime, anywhere. With our easy-to-use app, you can get access to funny Jokes shared by desi  joke lovers across the world.  

Daily Jokes

Politically Correct Descriptions Of Women

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

9. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

10. She is not a SLUT - she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

___________________________________________

Football Player Joke

Coach Bowden was talking to the newest player on the team. "It's fantastic the way you strike the line, dodge, tackle and weave through your opponents."

Luke was a shy fellow, but blurted out, "I suppose it all comes from early training, sir. You see, my mom used to take me shopping with her on sale days."

___________________________________________

Limerick

There once was a fellow named Trete,

Who from birth was inclined to be neat.

He became extra fussy

When he thought his pants mussy,

And would throw them away in the street.

___________________________________________

Mae West Quote

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."

___________________________________________

Blonde Swimming Joke

A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.

The brunette came in first and the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.

After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."

___________________________________________

Lawyer Joke

A very very rich gentleman dies,leaving his fortune to his only living friends, a Doctor, a CEO, and a Lawyer. But being the eccentric he was, his will stipulated that each one must place their third of the money in his coffin before he is put in his final resting place.

The funeral comes and goes. Over a year later the three friends are talking over lunch and the topic of the old man and his strange ways comes into the conversation.

The Doctor finally says "I have to be honest, I didn't place ALL of the money into his coffin, I kept five million".

Then the CEO states "Well, I have to admit that I too kept some of the cash. Ten million to be exact".

The Lawyer glares at the two and says "I am ASHAMED of you two, I wrote a check for the FULL amount!"

___________________________________________

Source :  Jokes

Comedy Central Jokes

Jokes

Very Funny Jokes

Funny Sms

Kiya Mosam Aya Hai,

Her Taraf Pani hi Pani Laya Hai,,

Tum Ghar se Mat Nikalna,

Warna Log Kahen gy,

,

Barsaat Abhi Shuru hi Hui Hai,

Aur,

Mendak Nikal Aya Hai...;-p:D

________________________________

Ek Admi ki Apny Dost se Arsay Baad Mulaqat Hui..

Admi: Q Bhai, Shadi Kerwa li Ya

Abhi Tak Apny Kapray Khud hi Dho Rahy Ho??

Dost Roty Huwe Bola:

"Tumhari Dono Baton Ka Jawab Haan Hai"...:-0:(

Hahaha

________________________________

The Only Person who can Order a Woman

to Stop Talking

And In Reply

.

She gave Smile to him,,

.

.

.

.

He Is,,,

.

.

.

A Photographer...:-)

________________________________

Current se Bhi Bara Jhatka,

Insaan Ko Tab Lagta Hai,

Jab Usay Pata Chalay,

K Wo

Baghair Package k

"Mobile Data Net"

Use Ker Raha hai...;-p:0

________________________________

Great people talk about things…

.

Small people talk about other people…

.

And legends never talk –

.

.

.

they send MESSAGES!!! LOLX

________________________________

Ek Murghi Ko Qatal Karen,

Oil Me Usay Ghusal Den,

Phir Dahi Ka Sufaid Kafan Den,

Shan Masalay se Khushboo ki Dhuni Den,

Is k Baad Chawal me Is ki Qabar Banaen,

Jab Tayyar Ho Jaye To Phir Mujh Ko Dawat Den,

Ta k Is Ki Maghfirat Ki Dua Ki Ja Sake..:)

________________________________

Thori Thori Hi Sahi,

Magar Baaten to Kiya Kero,,

"Dost",

Chup Rehty Ho To

Aqalmand se Lagty Ho..:-p

Hahahaha

________________________________

How do I react when I see

someone extreeeemly smart?

I stare and stare and stare &

I smile & smile & when I get tired,

then I put the mirror down.

________________________________

Mareez: Doctor Sahab, Aap ny jo Dawa Likh ker di thi,

Wo to Kahin nahi mili,

Pura Shehar Chhan mara hai..

Doctor: Ohooo,

Dawai to me Likhna hi Bhool gaya tha,

Ye to Mere Signature hen..;-p:-0

________________________________

Meri Harkaton ko Yehi Soch ker Muaaf ker Dena,

"Dosto",,

K Tum "Mera" Kuch bhi nahi Bigaar sakty..;-p

Source : Funny Jokes

Joke of the Day- Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying IDIOT told you I was speeding too.

——-

Source  : Jokes

Short & Funny Jokes