Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Very Funny Jokes

Funny Sms
Kiya Mosam Aya Hai,

Her Taraf Pani hi Pani Laya Hai,,

Tum Ghar se Mat Nikalna,

Warna Log Kahen gy,

,

Barsaat Abhi Shuru hi Hui Hai,
Aur,

Mendak Nikal Aya Hai...;-p:D

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Ek Admi ki Apny Dost se Arsay Baad Mulaqat Hui..

Admi: Q Bhai, Shadi Kerwa li Ya
Abhi Tak Apny Kapray Khud hi Dho Rahy Ho??

Dost Roty Huwe Bola:

"Tumhari Dono Baton Ka Jawab Haan Hai"...:-0:(

Hahaha

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The Only Person who can Order a Woman
to Stop Talking
And In Reply
.
She gave Smile to him,,
.
.
.
.
He Is,,,
.
.
.
A Photographer...:-)

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Current se Bhi Bara Jhatka,

Insaan Ko Tab Lagta Hai,

Jab Usay Pata Chalay,
K Wo

Baghair Package k

"Mobile Data Net"
Use Ker Raha hai...;-p:0

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Great people talk about things…
.
Small people talk about other people…
.
And legends never talk –
.
.
.
they send MESSAGES!!! LOLX

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Ek Murghi Ko Qatal Karen,

Oil Me Usay Ghusal Den,

Phir Dahi Ka Sufaid Kafan Den,

Shan Masalay se Khushboo ki Dhuni Den,

Is k Baad Chawal me Is ki Qabar Banaen,

Jab Tayyar Ho Jaye To Phir Mujh Ko Dawat Den,

Ta k Is Ki Maghfirat Ki Dua Ki Ja Sake..:)

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Thori Thori Hi Sahi,
Magar Baaten to Kiya Kero,,

"Dost",

Chup Rehty Ho To
Aqalmand se Lagty Ho..:-p
Hahahaha
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How do I react when I see
someone extreeeemly smart?
I stare and stare and stare &
I smile & smile & when I get tired,
then I put the mirror down.

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Mareez: Doctor Sahab, Aap ny jo Dawa Likh ker di thi,
Wo to Kahin nahi mili,
Pura Shehar Chhan mara hai..

Doctor: Ohooo,
Dawai to me Likhna hi Bhool gaya tha,
Ye to Mere Signature hen..;-p:-0

________________________________

Meri Harkaton ko Yehi Soch ker Muaaf ker Dena,

"Dosto",,

K Tum "Mera" Kuch bhi nahi Bigaar sakty..;-p


Source : Funny Jokes

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Joke of the Day- Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying IDIOT told you I was speeding too.
——-

Source  : Jokes

Monday, 1 February 2016

The Funny Jokes Blog

At Both Ends - Funny Joke
"Son, I'm worried about your being at the bottom of the class."

"Pop, they teach the same stuff at both ends."
___________________________


Buffalo Bill - Funny Joke
The teacher asked: "What was the name of the person in Greek mythology who was half man and half animal?"

Billy raised his hand.

"Yes?" the teacher acknowledged.

"Buffalo Bill," replied Billy.
___________________________



An Honest Answer - Funny Joke
A teacher was asked to fill out a special questionnaire for the state.

One question said, "Give two reasons for entering the teaching profession."

The teacher wrote: "Summer Vacation and Winter Vacation."
At Both Ends - Funny Joke
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The Team Photo - Funny Joke
Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years.

A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "82-83," "83-84," "84-85," etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.

Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
___________________________


The Bar Betting Joke
I found myself in a pub in Patiala and a group of American tourists came in.

One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Punjabis think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no-one here can drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 10 minutes."

The bar was silent, the American noticed Santa leaving, no-one took up the bet. 20 minutes later Santa who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is your bet still on?"

"Sure," said the American, "3 JD in 10 minutes for a bet of $5,000."

"Great...," replied Santa, "so pour the whisky and start the clock."

It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.

"OK Yank, pay up." said Santa.

"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?"

"Well sir," replied Santa, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it !

Source : Jokes