Sports Jokes

Funny Golf Jokes

If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.

SO why does the golfer carry two shirts?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.

Do you know why the game is called golf?

Because all the other four letter words were taken.

A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs.

Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"

What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron?

Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter!

Which course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble?

Intercourse!

Blonde Golfer Jokes

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.

Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.

The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.

As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"

"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"

Country Club Golf Jokes

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog.

The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!" Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts.

The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, "Sliderule, come!" Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie.

The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called "Bullshit, come!" Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit immediately fucked the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.

Four Putting Golf Jokes

What is the similarity between four-putting and masturbation?

You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will happen again!

Source : Jokes